No, it's funny with a "ph"

It is rare when you find something that makes you laugh so hard you feel as though something internal will soon become external (i.e. you'll piss and/or shit yourself, fart, sneeze or even vomit) but such was the case when I happened upon and actual comic book from the 50's (see picture) . Then I ventured to the website from wence it came. It is so fabulous. Please, do yourself a favor and visit it. I especially loved the "Manly ways to kill yourself" and "Video games you'll never play." It is delightful.
http://maddox.xmission.com

Enjoy

Tryin Somethin

I love learning new things.

Change can do ya good

So, I've changed the title of my blog. I did so mainly because I didn't want to make anyone leery about checking out the site just because I dropped the F-bomb in the title. I also didn't want to come off like some pimply-faced jerk-off teenager who is so excited because he can use the word 'fuck' in print without his parents finding out. Although, I must admit that it does pain me to remove a nod to my favorite writer/director (if you aren't sure what I mean go rent Clerks and listen to the name of Olaf's metal band) but I feel all is happier this way. Sorry Chan, I guess you gotta alter the link on your site... oops.
Does this mean I'm getting older?
Does this mean I'm more mature?
Does this mean I like having goldfish in my pants?
Who knows. And more importantly, who cares; not me.

I had a fabulous dinner last night. Jill made this incredible spaghetti sauce. I know what some of you are thinking "spaghetti sauce is easy, anyone can do that." Well, yes, that may be so, but not anybody can make it like that... with so many flavors mixing with such subtlety... that takes some talent.

Going to see Batman tonight, I'm told it is excellent, I am very excited.

Come, swim in my stream of consciousness.

So, another work day draws to a close (who am I kidding, I've got a show and then rehearsal... my work day won't end until 10:30pm) and the murky haze and ash from acres of forest fill the sky.
You should have seen the moon last night, it looked like blood.

Back in Vegas

Well, I had a wonderful vacation, but like all good things, it too had to end. So, I went from a cool 73 to a hot 103; from a beautiful, lush green to a drab brown. Ah well, taking the "goods" with the "bads" I do love it here.
The big news... I am officially engaged. Yes, that's right, I am taking the leaop for the 2nd time. Sometimes first tries are the mistakes we have to make to get it right the next time. And this time, I know I got it right. So, I am very happy. Jill was surprised and delighted and, thankfully, said yes.
Oh, did I forget to mention that I love her family.... well, I do! They are beyond amazing. So, I really have no complaints as far as that goes... I have a wonderful family of my own and now I have an amazing set of in-laws... SCORE!!!

Beat It

Michael Jackson, not guilty on all charges. What the fuck?
The world is being FedEx'd to hell, I'm tellin' you.

Ebert & Ernie

So, Jill and I saw Mr. & Mrs. Smith last night. Was it the best film of 2005? No. Was it a lot of fun and enjoyable (like a good Bruckheimer movie)? Yes. I enjoyed it, suspended disbelief and went for the ride. I think the two play very well off of each other and their banter under extreme conditions is very funny.
I appreciated that both were string characters. As Jill aptly pointed out, movies like this tend to make the female character weaker... not the case with this one.
There's lots of good action and a number of laughs. I would recommend it to anyone who wants to have a fun movie experience and isn't a film snob. You know the kind... the ones who think if it aint PT Anderson then it aint good.

On Film and Awards

So, I'm watching the MTV Movie Awards last night and I had the frightening revelation that the world is indeed going to hell. The younger generations (meaning anyone born between 83 - 89 as that is really MTV's demographic, duh) scare the shit out of me as I know that when they are in charge of the world I'll be too old to do anything about it.
"Give us an example of them being so hideous," you may cry; all right, I shall oblige. Up for Best Performance by a Female... the nominees are: Hillary Swank (Million Dollar Baby), Natalie Portman (Garden State), Rachel McAdams (The Notebook), Uma Thurman (Kill Bill vol. 2), and last, but definitely least, Lindsay Lohan (Mean Girls). Now, I'm sure that you already know who won based upon my build up to this point... don't get me wrong, Miss. Lohan's performance was riveting. I felt that she and she alone truly grasped the muse of theatre and left all others in her wake. The MPAA was so far off choosing Hillary Swank. She is obviously nowhere near the raw talent that Lindsay Lohan is. The Notebook and Garden State... far inferior to the brilliance that is Mean Girls. That is a timeless classic that will one day rival Citizen Kane.
So they choose Lindsay Lohan. My Fucking G-D. I realize that the voters were kids, but come on. I wouldn't let Lindsay Lohan wipe my ass let alone give her a fucking award. But, I digress.
It is just a shame because the MTV Movie Awards just lost the faint shred of credibility they may have actually attained. The only good parts for me... a short with Owen Wilson and Vince Vaughn teaching a class and Samuel L Jackson's mention that yes, he does have a lightsaber with the initials BMF engraved on it. That is priceless.
Tonight, however, Jill and I venture out to see Mr. & Mrs. Smith. Being a Brad Pitt fan (say what you will, he a fucking good actor) I hope this is as good as it looks.
I've been using Fandango a lot recently... very handy. Cuts out a lot of the bullshit. I'll post a review (as if anyone gives a shit about my opinion... oh, wait, this whole blog is my opinion and you keep reading it, so I guess you do).
C-Ya

Smell like cabbage

Midgets, midgets, midgets are small
Midgets, midgets, midgets aren't tall

The Pen is Mightier

So.... I love to read. Unfortunately, I don't have too much time each day to do so, so a book of 700 pages can take a month to read. I am always amazed at how much you can become engrossed in and attached to characters in books. I'm speaking mainly of books in a series as they not only have the one novel adventure, they have several and the dedication and commitment of time involved as a good series can go for years.
Currently I am reading Stephen King's The Dark Tower series. I truly believe it to be one of the finest collections I have ever read. I'm not a huge Stephen King fan... or at least, I wasn't. This is unlike anything he has ever written. Most people think of King and they immediately think HORROR. Lest we forget his is the pen that brought us the Shawshank Redemption, the Green Mile, and The Body (aka Stand By Me). I highly recommend that anyone who even enjoys a good story a little bit, please, do yourself a favor, read The Dark Tower. Book 1, The Gunslinger, is a tough read. It seems kind of drawn out and there are names and references that you don't understand. But then, as you read each book following, it all makes sense like a giant picture being unveiled. I am almost done with book 5 and I draw closer to book 7 (the finale) with excitement and sadness. I can't wait to find out what happens, but once it is done I will be sad to say goodbye Roland, Eddie, Susannah, Jake and Oy.
That is the main reason why (as much as I LOVE the Vampire Chronicles) I cannot bring myself to read Blood Canticle. I am told that Anne Rice will no longer write any Vampire or Witch books again... so I hesitate to read the last and bid farewell to Lestat.
I guess though stories, like all other things, must come to an end. It hurt at the end of Preacher. It was tough to lose Morpheous. Fortunately, Harry Potter 6 come out next month and we are sure to see at least one or two more. Ahh... a silver lining.

Saturday Morning

Remember when we were growing up (And by we I mean anyone born in the 70's) and we had Saturday morning cartoons. Those were the best. It started about 8:30, there were cartoon from 6-8 but they usually sucked (Smurfs, Snorks) and lasted until noon. At noon there was the ABC special which was an hour show that was usually an adaptation of a pre-teen book. My fav was one called the Haunted Mansion Mystery... awesome.
So, not only were there tons more cartoons then (there's only about 1 hour now) but the cartoon were much better. Has anyone tried watching Pokemon or Yugio (sp)? That is some confusing ass ADD infested shit. What happened to The Bugs Bunny Roadrunner Show? The same cartoons aired for 30-40 years and NOW they're no good?
The best for me though was Dungeons & Dragons. That was awesome. The kids that got on the ride and then were mystically teleported to the D&D world and had to fight the bad guy to find a way back home. Brilliant.
The one no one remembers, and you've all probably heard me mention, was Dr. Shrinker from the Sid & Marty Kroft Super Show. It was one of 3 possible shows, so you only got to see it once a month roughly. It was awesome.
It's funny, as society keeps pushing kids to stay inside and watch TV or play video games, you'd think they would have more programming on Saturday morning. Believe me, I am against kids indoors in front of the boob tube... get outside and use your damn imagination... I just find it odd.

I do feel a bit hypocritical here, though. As much as I am against kids and video games, I must admit... I love my PC games. My current fav, Star Wars: Knights of the Old Republic. It is available for PC, X-Box and PS2. If you haven't played it, I highly recommend you go get it. I am awaiting part 2 which should arrive in the mail any day... nice.

Mem or Elaine

So, the gauntlet was thrown. Why not drudge up the nuggets from the past. Well one possible answer is that no one cares. But, if you are reading this regularly, then I'll assume you either do care or you have even less of a life than I do.

I mean, true, it's not everyday that, whilst at a party with your friends, the county corner knocks on the door and asks to examine the dead body that witness saw several partygoers drag into the house. Do we turn him away... no. Tell him "oh, there must be a mistake" nope. Instead we opt for the much less attention getting "Oh Shit!" and slam the door in his face. Then, as the myriad police officers approached....

Yeah, the way I figure it, I probably should have been dead 3.5 times by now. (I just added the .5 as I hate when people use it as 2.5 children. Who the hell has 1/2 of a kid?)

Anyhoo, thanks for that all too brief (I'm getting ready to leave work) trip down one of many sordid memories. More to come if I have time/get bored. More to read if you are the same.

Roman Style Beef

You don't really realize how boring your life is until you actually write it out for the "enjoyment" of others. I mean, yes, I've had some very interesting things happen to me or around me in my life for both good or ill, but it seems like the day-to-day is some pretty boring shit.

How sad is it when your not even in the mood to rub one off? Does that mean you've kind of been rejected by yourself? If so, should you be hurt by the rejection or be pissed off at the dick (no pun intended) who wasn't interested?

So, I've got "the show" tonight, that should be fun. I do feel very fortunate that I get to work with some of the most talented people I have ever worked with and oddly I also get to work with some of the most un-talented. Fortunately, my interraction with the latter is usually minimal. I don't mean so sound like an arrogant prick, believe me I don't think I'm all that, sometimes you just sit back and say "wow..."

It's funny, doing this blog (what the hell does that mean anyway... blog. Sounds like the sound your cat makes when it finally gets the hairball out.) has brougt about some nostalgia and the desire to reconnect with friends that I haven't talked to in a while. Hmmm.

Well, as I said, I can be pretty damn boring.

Gopher it

So, I'm sitting here writing another post... at work. Yeah, some people would say "Wow, must be nice to have a job like that" but for me... I need to keep active, physically or mentally. Here I'm just watching the clock. And by watching I mean stroking and by clock I mean my dick.
Don't get me wrong, I'm grateful to have this job, but at what point do you tell yourself "Is this really my life" and then give yourself a metaphorical wedgie and change direction.

On a lighter note. I am very excited about my upcoming vacation. I will be meeting almost all of my future in-laws. I say almost as I already met Jill's (that the one who hooked me) mother and we got along famously. Should be a fun trip. I am nervous about meeting her dad (ugh, please no more Gaylord Focker references) as I will be asking for his blessing on our upcoming nuptials, but I have a feeling we'll get along.

What the hell was I thinking

So, I always read about these blogs and, maybe it's just my age, but it always sounded kinda stupid. But, much like the pathetic whore to increasing technology and trends that I am, here I stand entering a blog post. I kind of feel like I just bent over to the internet gods and said :Nah, don't worry about the K-Y."

Oh, as most of you probably know, since you know me, this really won't be a PG-13 forum. So if I offend in any way... too fucking bad.

Kisses